If you buy the type of bread that is rectangular, sliced and in a plastic bag, you have two choices in New Zealand. One type is labeled sandwich, the other is labeled toast and they look identical.

So, we did some pondering and then some investigating. As it turns out, toast bread is sightly thicker for toasters. And sandwich bread is a little thinner than toast bread for an unknown reason.

Naturally, we asked the question: “What if you want a toasted sandwich?” Supposedly, you would then use toast bread for your sandwich.

This lead us to conclude that sandwich bread and toast bread is one of the world’s great marketing scams. People all throughout New Zealand are tricked into buying two loafs of bread, when one would suffice.

We’re glad that we eat traditional european bread. It’s not rectangular, sliced or in a plastic bag. And, since it isn’t labeled we are free to do what ever we want with it. So, I can even dip my slice of bread in soup.

Here is an update on our likes and dislikes so far.

Likes:

• We don’t have kids, but I like to see really cool playground equipment kids can get hurt on.
• Drinking allowed in the streets.
• Not many lawsuits.
• Biking by the ocean.
• Kaffee Eis gelato.
• Delicious grass fed cows.
• People watching on Cuba Street.
• Having the beach five minutes away.

Dislikes:

• Parking enforcement.
• I think New Zealanders are used to having a lot of space so they walk down the sidewalk in widely spread out groups so you can’t get by. Then they just stop to have a chat and you can’t get by. It’s like being in Times Square with tourists in NYC.
• The word, “choice”. It’s not actually that we don’t like the word. It’s just funny to hear.
• The NZ symphony playing eighties music.
• Genera fashion on Cuba street, again eighties.
• Lack of insulation in housing.
• I took my shoes to get repaired. In NYC probably a $10.00 fix. Here $80.00.

We live in the Las Olas de Cuba apartments which translates to “the waves of the Cuba.” When received our quarterly gas bill from body corporate, El Che was on it. This piqued our attention for several reasons:

• It is the world’s most famous photograph and it is next to incredibly bad clip art
• Che is the most infamous Marxist revolutionary of our time
• And, it’s on a utility bill, from body corporate, regarding our middle-class home

Have we discovered the biggest and most obvious conceptual oxymoron in the history of oxymorons? Apparently so. Because in 1840 a survey party, traveling on a boat called the Cuba, landed near Wellington, with the task of surveying. So, that’s why there is Cuba street. And without any trace of profound thought, Che and Fidel’s photos and names popped up about 15 years ago to help market the trendy cafes which were on Cuba street, a street with absolutely no connection to the country, culture or politics.

We can only assume that if he knew, he would be upset and therefore haunt our body corporate.

Also, the word cuba comes from a Taino word meaning “where fertile land is abundant” or “great place.”